Following the end of my engagement a friend who had also had a failed engagement gave me a copy of a Bible Study that had encouraged her: Job. As appreciative as I was for her kind gesture, I was never able to make it beyond the first verse: “There was a man in the land…

When I feel pain, I pull away. I retreat. Like a turtle withdraws into his shell; I too withdraw and hide to protect myself. I stand alone in the face of this pain. I try to protect those around me from entering this place of pain and suffering. I do not want to hurt them…

As I processed being raped and all the emotional repercussions I went through a period where I told a lot of people about what I was going through. Some people were supportive, but others contributed to me feeling further isolated.

This is the point where God stepped in. Where my downward spiral ended and God began to gently pull me out of my despair. God reached out to me. He relentlessly pursued me when I wasn’t seeking to be pursued. When I had given up on myself.  He brought people into my life to pull…

After a year and a half of emotionally disengaging, the emotions came flooding in one day. My engagement had ended on the cusp of me facing the reality of being raped. I was angry. Bitter. I hated all men, especially my rapist. I never wanted to get married. I could not even imagine bringing children…

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. My sophomore year of college we became engaged. Once we were engaged I began to quickly unravel.

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. I survived for months completely blocking out my rape. After my relationship with my rapist ended I truly saw myself as un-datable, unmarriable. I felt like I had nothing to ever offer anyone relationally. I felt like I…

At the end of the semester I returned home for Winter Break. A friend of his from High School had just welcomed his first child with his wife and they were a couple of hours from where my parents lived. He decided to stop by and visit me for four days.

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. I knew what had happened was wrong. However, I didn’t recognize it as rape. I was completely overwhelmed. I knew my rapist. He gained my trust only to crush it. He was not a stranger. He would be…

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. I am not sure exactly when that fateful night occurred, but I believe it to have been within the first month of school. It was a Thursday night and he had asked me out on a date. I…