Author: Hillary

At the end of the semester I returned home for Winter Break. A friend of his from High School had just welcomed his first child with his wife and they were a couple of hours from where my parents lived. He decided to stop by and visit me for four days.

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. I knew what had happened was wrong. However, I didn’t recognize it as rape. I was completely overwhelmed. I knew my rapist. He gained my trust only to crush it. He was not a stranger. He would be…

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. I am not sure exactly when that fateful night occurred, but I believe it to have been within the first month of school. It was a Thursday night and he had asked me out on a date. I…

Disclaimer: The following contains some graphic content that may be considered disturbing or offensive. Please be advised. I had been accepted into the work study program at my University. When looking through my options I discovered that I could work in the College of Architecture Library. Perfect! When I began working, I was always scheduled…

What does a rapist look like?  Obviously, I can’t tell you what a rapist looks like, but I can tell you about my rapist. He was not who I would have suspected and I imagine not what others would suspect either.

As a college freshman, life for me was beautiful, full of endless possibilities. I believed that most people were good and trustworthy. I was naïve, innocent and trusting. Regardless of any obstacles I had faced, I remained optimistic and positive, always smiling and happy. I was excited to finally be studying in my field of…

I know I have shared a lot of not-so-happy memories from my childhood, but despite all the negative, I have always been a very positive and happy person. At the end of grade school I had a teacher nickname me “Smiley,” because he said I was constantly smiling.

Growing up I was very sheltered. My parents were very strict. Authoritarian. They believed in corporal punishment. Whenever they saw a child acting out, their immediate response was: “That child needs a spanking.” They were strict about what we watched and who we hung out with.

Fear has always been present in my life in a very real way. Obviously, it was present with my mother’s emotional abuse & in the rejection I have faced, but it was also present in my spiritual life.

The one constant in my ever-changing life was my family. In my younger years, I assumed that the love of family was a given, but that has not been my experience. Love in my family is conditional. My mother is emotionally abusive. This has included threats, manipulations, blame for problems and difficulties, and an overall…